How Gray For Good Came To Be
“I don’t want to shame those who do color their hair. What I am asking is that we shed shame for those who don’t and that we eternalize gender equity.”
Hi there, I’m Julia and am glad you are here.
From the Gray For Good Video - No makeup and no hair color
In 2019, I found myself thumb-typing a few lines of lyrical poetry that had percolated to the surface of my mind. Why we gotta color, why we gotta try, why we gotta cover up what’s real and not a lie? After all, these were the questions I had been asking myself since my 40’s (now 52). More verses started to flow. Don’t I got that aura? Don’t I got that vibe? Don’t we get to celebrate every year that I’m alive? As I typed, I felt like I was onto something real. Something significant. Something legitimate that got at some of the changes I was going through, that I needed to question and that merits being discussed.
Fast forward to 2020 during COVID-19. After 16.5 collective years working at the national association to advance U.S. craft breweries, I was laid-off. The event left me stunned, in grief, and like millions upon millions, I felt lost.
Needing to think and process I drove cross-country on a “vision quest” trip. On this trip, I realized I would regret not bringing the lyrics on “going gray” to life. Plus, reciting them brought me joy and hope. Gray For Good was born.
Let’s Disrupt Manufactured Expectations That Hold Back Women
2015 - Fully made up and hair colored
Gray For Good represents confidence, self-love, saying we each are enough without having to color. Plus, by consciously fueling women and girls causes that are grossly underfunded, we can eternalize gender equity within our lifetime.
The Video
The tone of the video is cheeky, and not angry. I don’t want to shame those who do color their hair. What I am asking is that we shed shame for those who don’t and that we eternalize gender equity.
Especially with COVID and so many people having an interruption in hair coloring, we can use this momentum as a launchpad to relief. Relief from the learned, and odd assumption that we as women are expected to color our gray hair and chase youth instead of mature with grace surrounded by acceptance.
Behind the Scenes
The halo of mental, economic, and societal costs of coloring gray are simply too large to measure. Women are subjected to ridiculous standards about our appearance that are so deep-seated they are taken as truth and these standards have a cost. The standards loom large and are both blatantly reinforced and silently embodied. This makes no sense to me.
These standards are manufactured, wasteful and cause harm. Harm to women and harm to our culture, society, and future generations. Couple this with the fact that organizations focused on women and girls only received 1.6% of all giving in the U.S. and giving to women and girls of color accounts for 0.5% of giving by foundations.
Hear these words: We each already are enough as our organic and natural selves. Despite societal pressures, shaming, lost opportunities and closed doors, when we let our hair go naturally gray, we actually grow our beauty, power, and authority instead of diminishing it.
Women-identified individuals can use the power of the purse (where we spend our dollars), the power of the pen (what we share on social media), the power of the clock (how we spend our time and energy), the power of our voice (let’s deliberately support each other), and the power of our HAIR for good. After all, if a woman lives to be 80-years-old and colors her hair six times a year starting at the age of 40, the collective cost could reach $20,000 or more if they went to a salon. What if that money and time was instead given to any one of the tens of thousands of charitable women or girls causes?
Shaming
Most women over (insert your own age guess here) have been shamed, consciously or unconsciously, and automatically are put into a manufactured penalty box for maturing. I’ve been on the receiving end of it too (one of many examples here).
If you personally are not aware of the systemic agewashing faced by women, and the deep-seated cost to our culture and society, then please open your eyes. Most woman you see with gray are “dealing” with it and appeasing engrained and unquestioned expectations when instead she could be respected, supported, celebrated, and living without stigma.
Test this point out and ask, “Hey (Mom, Girlfriend, Wife, Partner, Daughter, Grandma, other) how are you feeling about your gray hair?” Most times, especially in the U.S. you will get an answer that showcases questioning, frustration, possibly turmoil, and a direct peek into why this is such a tough topic for women.
Possibly, I will get shamed for this campaign, the video, and for shining a light on this very real and deep-seated issue. I don’t care. If change and relief are created then it is all worth it. If the campaign helps shine a light on the different and unfair standards of beauty and aging for men compared to women then good will be done for the world.
Gray For Good has become my “Everest”. I want this campaign to take off, and hope it will resonate with many as it creates a new level of acceptance, support, and equity.
Thank you for engaging, and please do share how you plan to use #GrayForGood.
Julia Herz
February 22, 2021
